


Steve and Bucky vs. IKEA

by katznhund



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: IKEA, M/M, Minor Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve and Bucky get new furniture, Tony to the rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-06-16
Packaged: 2018-02-04 20:42:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1792564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katznhund/pseuds/katznhund
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky buy some furniture at IKEA for their new apartment. Assembly does not go as planned. Mostly gen, some light Steve/Bucky at the end.<br/>~~~<br/>Steve opened the first box and a jumble of precut boards slid on to the floor. Somehow that small pile was going to end up being a 6 foot tall set of shelves. He was America's finest soldier with super strength, a photographic memory, and augmented learning abilities, certainly he could put this together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steve and Bucky vs. IKEA

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a tumblr prompt imagining Steven and Bucky trying to put furniture together.

They both decided they could use a slightly larger apartment and after moving in that meant getting a few more pieces of furniture. Natasha suggested they go to IKEA, it was modern, cheap, and if Steve decided in 6 months that the style wasn't for him he could easily give it away without feeling too bad about the money spent.

A few days later there was a newly delivered pile of boxes from IKEA in the middle of their living room floor. They decided to divide and conquer with Steve taking care of assembly in the living room and Bucky the spare bedroom.

Steve opened the first box and a jumble of pre-cut boards slid on to the floor. Somehow that small pile was going to end up being a 6 foot tall set of shelves. He was America's finest soldier with super strength, a photographic memory, and augmented learning abilities, certainly he could put this together.

In the other room, Bucky was muttering under his breath in Russian, surrounded by laminated particle board and stainless steel. There were no words on the instructions. Why were there no words on the instructions? It was just a bunch of pictures and arrows. All of this fancy modern technology and they couldn't write something down and have in translated. Hell, they could have a computer do that now. And how on earth did they get an entire bed frame in to one long skinny box? This was a joke. Certainly this was some kind of joke by Tony because they're the old guys and this is something new and modern. Tony had called the store, told them to swap out the instructions with stupid cartoons and to hold on to a few necessary assembly pieces. That had to be it.

_"FUCK!"_ The small allen wrench slipped out of his hand and Steve scraped the top of his knuckles on the underside of the end table. He hadn't sworn this much since his army days. He blamed Dum Dum and Bucky for his language then, right now he was placing the blame firmly on Sweden. He'd finally figured out the bookshelves, he'd put two pieces on backwards and had to take them half apart and then put them back together again, but they were done. This shouldn't have been that much more complicated, it was just a top, four legs and a drawer. Maybe it didn't need the drawer. It would look fine with a hole in the middle. He'd put a nice tablecloth over it and no one would ever know. Perhaps something with a floral print.

Bucky stalked by and opened the hall closet. He grabbed his gun from the safe and started back towards the bedroom.

"Whoa, Bucky, what are you doing?"

"The damn peg won't fit in the hole. I'm making it bigger."

"We can't just shoot things, we have neighbors, new neighbors who don't know who we are."

"I'll use the silencer."

"Come on, don't be so dramatic."

Steve followed him into the bedroom and stared at the floor. Whatever Bucky was trying to do was not working. It looked nothing like a bed frame, it looked like some weird piece of modern art, _"Man's Struggle Against the Modern World and Boxed Furniture"_ by James Buchanan Barnes in broken particle board, brushed steel, and shredded paper.

"Maybe we should call Tony. I bet he has people that can do this."

"Damn right you should call him. Tell him this isn't funny anymore and to bring us the rest of the damn pieces and real instructions"

"Buck, I don't think this is Tony playing a joke, I think this is all on us."

"Bullshit."

~~~

Steve could have told Tony not to laugh when he said he needed him to come over and help them with a project, but he knew it would have been useless, and he was right. Tony was standing in their kitchen, clutching the countertop for dear life, doubled over, and struggling to catch his breath.

"Laugh it up, Stark. I'd like to remind you though that less than an hour ago Bucky was threatening to shoot the furniture."

Bucky looked over at Steve, "Are you still sure this isn't a joke?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Let's not give him any ideas."

"You two kids. You guys are my favorite nonagenarians, hands down." Tony was regaining his composure, at least enough to get out more than a few words before cracking up. "Listen, I've got this. Go grab a bite to eat, take a walk in the park, go see a movie, whatever, just give me a few hours and I'll have everything taken care of."

He was practically shoving them out their own front door and when it closed behind them they heard, "Pepper, you have to see this." Then the laughter started all over again.

~~~

As it turned out, getting out was a good idea. They tried the little deli a few blocks away and went to Central Park. Steve sketched the crowds of people lazing about. Eventually Bucky fell asleep in the grass beside him, peaceful and content in the sun, so Steve drew him too.

The afternoon shadows were long when they finally made it back to the apartment. They paused for a moment, there was no noise from inside. Cautiously Steve opened the door and looked in. It looked like something from a catalog, blankets were casually draped over chairs, there were throw pillows he didn't remember owning, fresh flowers on the table, and most importantly, all of the furniture they bought had been assembled.

In the spare bedroom the bed looked picture perfect. Steve was pretty sure Tony ordered a new one since he didn't think Bucky left enough parts from the original intact to actually put it together.

"How the hell did he do this?" Bucky muttered behind him.

"I have a feeling Tony just supervised. We should send something to Pepper, we probably have her to thank for most of this."

In their own room they found a bucket with chilled champagne on their dresser and note:

_Welcome to the new digs.   -Tony_

And beneath it in neater handwriting.

_Next time, call me first. Come by the tower for dinner sometime after you're settled in.     -Pepper_

Bucky stood behind Steve, wrapping his arms around the other man's waist and put his chin on Steve's shoulder, nuzzling his cheek. "Yeah, we should definitely get her something nice."

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I've only been to IKEA twice and never bough furniture there so hopefully I got those details right.


End file.
